January 19, 2013 PDN article. You can help put an end to bullying.
Bullying is a pervasive problem in our society. It can happen at home among families, in the work place and in the community at large. It is about power and control which often leads to violence. Bullying is quite prevalent and troublesome among our student population as it seeks to dominate and manipulate especially the most vulnerable person who lacks the skills to protect himself or herself. With society’s advancement in technology, the bullying could be most destructive, invasive and widespread such as cyber-bullying.
Children are teased, threatened or tormented by bullies every day. It is a big problem that creates a climate of fear. Bullying interferes with learning in school and may lead to increased absenteeism and dropout rates. Students feel less safe and less comfortable to be in school when there’s high level of bullying.
Bullying is a learned behavior and therefore can be unlearned. It can occur as early as two years of age. Bullying can be either direct or indirect. Direct bullying is usually seen and felt readily, such as pushing, tripping, threatening, intimidating, etc. Indirect bullying is very different, it is much more difficult to identify and often is more difficult to correct. Some examples of indirect bullying are deliberate exclusion of a person from a group, spreading rumors and name-calling.
Typically, boys engage in direct bullying and girls in indirect bullying, although not always the case. The longer bullying continues, the harder it is to change. According to research, bullies identified by age 8 are six times more likely to have a criminal conviction by age 24.
Bullying children may become bully adults and more likely to become child and spouse abusers. Bullying may be linked to other delinquent, criminal and gang activities, such as shoplifting, drug abuse, and vandalism.
Bullied children grow socially insecure, anxious, tormented, and defenseless with decreased self-esteem and increased depression rates, even into adulthood.
Victim prevention: Here are some ways to prevent your child from becoming a victim of bully:
- "Bully-proof” your child by instilling self-confidence in him/her. Give him/her positive affirmations and self-talk to build his/her self-esteem.
- Help your child to establish good social skills.
- Teach your child to be assertive and speak out for himself or herself.
- If your child is being bullied, let him/her know that it is not his or her fault. Teach your child to seek
- help and to report it to you and to other caring adults immediately.
15 minutes a day:
Did you know that research has found that remarkable things can happen if parents and caregivers spend at least 15 minutes of undivided time a day listening and talking with their children? Research also tells us that children do look to their parents and caregivers for advice and help about difficult choices and decisions.
So, do 15 minutes a day. Make time to listen and take time to talk with your child, to learn more about your child and to promote healthy child development. This, 15 minutes a day can be adapted by teachers, counselors, and other adult involved in the lives and future of our children.
Lastly, let’s remember the example of Martin Luther King Jr., a great American leader who preached and modeled non-violent protest in our country’s civil rights movement in the 60’s.
Annie F.B. Unpingco, LCSW Administrator, IFamagu’on-ta/Child Adolescent Services Division, Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse.
