This is the time of the year when family traditions and rituals
are most celebrated and a great opportunity for young people to learn about
them and to practice these traditions and rituals.
Tradition is the process of passing on culture or customs from
one generation to another. Family traditions connect young people to their
faith, culture, family, and their identity as to who they are. Many family
traditions and rituals are fun things to do.
These things can be patterns of behavior of activities that
families do together on a regular basis or a certain food that a family likes.
They are purposeful activities repeated together as a family and when done
right, family traditions create good feelings and special moments to remember.
Enjoying this time together as a family will create positive experiences and
memories that would last a lifetime for young people.
Tradition can serve as reminders of events that have shaped your
family and your children of things you have done together. Each time you do
that activity or event, it reminds you of all the experiences you've had on
previous times of that event or activity.
• Personal identity: Family traditions and rituals have
numerous benefits to young people, one of which, it provides a source of
identity. Tradition tells a story about a family. It can teach children where
their family came from or give them insights into their cultural or religious
history.
Traditions, and the stories that they tell about one's family,
play an important role in shaping a child's personal identity. Studies have
found that children who have an intimate knowledge of their family's history
are typically more well-adjusted and self-confident than children who don't.
Identity formation is most especially important for a teenager.
It helps to know you "belong" when you are trying to figure out who
you are, which is a major task of the adolescent. A family that encourages a
teen to be a part of the family and its traditions provides a strong foundation
for teens to stand on when they're searching and defining their sense of self.
• Sense of belonging: Family
traditions give every member of the family a stronger sense of belonging. Being
a part of a family is more that living in the same home or having the same last
name. It is about relationships and family bonds. Since family traditions are
something you do together, they strengthen the bonds you have between each other,
creating a stronger sense of belonging to the family.
Studies have also found that families that engage in frequent
traditions report stronger connection and unity than families that haven't
established rituals together. Traditions help family members get to know and
trust each other more intimately, and create a bond that comes from feeling
that one is part of something unique and special.
• Sense of security: Family
traditions offer young people a sense of security. Every day, young people face
some difficult issues. Knowing that he or she is secure and has a family to
turn to is a powerful tool to use against negative peer pressure, drug-use
influences, going through losses, etc.
Family traditions and rituals can provide comfort and security
to children, even if a main source of their stress comes from within the family
itself. For example, a study found that "families of alcoholics are less
likely to transmit alcoholism to the next generation if they maintain the
family dinnertime ritual and do not allow a parent's alcoholism to interfere
with their dinner time together."
• Family values: Another
important purpose of traditions and rituals, is to teach and reinforce values,
whether religious or secular. Through daily family prayer, the importance of
faith is reinforced. Through nightly bedtime stories, the value of education,
reading and lifelong learning is implanted; and through regular family dinners
or activities, the importance of family unity is instilled.
Showing young people what having the ability to love is all
about, happens naturally when you spend quality time together -- like doing a
traditional family activity.
Guam has many rich family traditions and rituals. A few for
example are: the novenas for Baby Jesus during Christmas, which many families
celebrate together and special meals are prepared. Another is when loved ones
passed away, their lives are celebrated by families and friends coming together
for memorial service, such as attending Masses and the rosary.
Many family traditions have been passed down through multiple
generations. They can be simple everyday traditions like family dinners,
holiday get-togethers and bedtime stories. These positive childhood memories
can help make your child a happier and more generous adult.
Continuing family traditions and rituals in your own family is a
great way to teach children about your family's cultural and religious history,
thus adding to their personal identity. Do not make the mistake of thinking
that because your child is older now, you should no longer adhere to the
rituals that help define your family. You still need them and so does your
children.
Annie F.B. Unpingco, LCSW, is administrator of I Famagu'on-ta at
the Guam Behavioral Health and Wellness Center.
