Caring goes long way to prevent abuse - www.icareguam.org

PDN Article: April 20, 2013

The month of April is the national and local month of the young child and Child Abuse Prevention Month. This month brings to our increased awareness the importance of and our commitment to promoting the health, well being and safety of children.

This also is a reminder that children are our greatest resource and we must be proactive in nurturing and protecting their healthy development, even during trying economic times. We want to prepare our children to be emotionally healthy and productive leaders of tomorrow.

In my last article, I compared the constant and diligent work involved in raising a child to that of tending to a garden. Children usually do not grow up well on their own without the love, care and guidance of an emotionally healthy adult. Or in other words, raised with "a good enough mothering."

An emotionally healthy adult who can provide good enough mothering is one who understands the responsibility of raising a child, who will spend time to teach and model good behaviors based on positive family values -- a caregiver who is not afraid to be firm, to set limits and take charge as the adult, as the parent. One who is consistent in his/her principles and practices yet able to be flexible when necessary -- an adult who can admit to making mistakes and asking for forgiveness for his/her mistakes.

Lifelong effects

In reflecting on the many incidents of child abuse, we must be cognizant that child abuse is traumatic, damaging, and has a lifelong effect. Studies have shown that the majority of individuals in the prison system have been victims of abuse or violence as children. Studies also have shown that many individuals who attempted or die from suicide are victims of abuse and violence.

The number of cases of abuse and violence against children on Guam that we know of, and reported in the media, is alarming and very disheartening. One wonders what can we do to prevent these incidents. The "why" question can be very frustrating, as there is no justification at all for any abuse to occur to any child.

We need to focus on the "what" question -- what can we do to prevent child abuse? What can we do to help support children growing up, especially in single-parent households? What can we do to keep children safe from being abused -- physically, emotionally and sexually? What can we do as adults to be positive role models to children?

Each and every one of us can do something to the "what" question that does not cost money.

What each one of us can do, as a start, is to model positive behaviors, starting with being caring, kind, patient and respectful to one another. By demonstrating any of these positive behaviors, we can reduce our own stress and those around us. We can be helpful to someone in need.

This simple act of caring can go a long way, as it has a contagious quality to it. Just try it out, and see how it works!

Annie F.B.Unpingco, LCSW, is administrator of I Famagu'on-ta, Child Adolescent Services Division at the Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse.

Raising child is like tending a garden - www.icareguam.com

PDN Article: April 6. 2013

Raising children in today's technological world can be quite exciting and daunting at the same time. Technology offers us wonderful opportunities for personal improvement and advancement as a society in many areas of our lives. At the same time, technology could be misused and become destructive, creating various social ills. For example, deceitful activities -- stolen identity, pornography and cyber-bullying, among a few.

Our children today are growing up in a world extremely different from the world of their parents and grandparents, different in how they were raised and the technology they were exposed to.

Children today have no clue as to what a manual typewriter looks like and how it works, nor about RPM record/stereo systems, or the old washing machine with a wringer type that our older generation is nostalgically familiar with. For someone who grew up during the period of manually operated appliances, the experiences have become a meaningful and memorable part of one's life.

Technology widens the generation gap between children, teens and their parents. Children as young as toddlers are able to easily manipulate iPhones, iPads and other systems. This also is a time when many of our young people are being cared for and raised by their grandparents, and many grandparents are clueless about what these technologies are, what they can do, and what our young ones are doing with them.

Although some parents and grandparents may be technology savvy, many are not.

Although we have become technologically advanced, the basic key ingredient to raising healthy, responsible and independent children is still the traditional way -- the way most grandparents know. That is to love and discipline in a firm, consistent and respectful way.

The task and process of raising a child is like tending to a garden. Before you plant, you first prepare the soil to ensure a healthy foundation where the plant will grow. As the plant grows, you nourish it with water and fertilize it regularly. Every now and then, it will need to be weeded out and the soil irrigated.

As the plant grows, its branches need to be trimmed, pruned and cut back, and it even might need a stake to lean on to prevent it from bending and going astray. If you ignore and neglect the plant over time, it will not thrive. The plant would eventually wilt and die.

This is no different than raising a child. He/she needs to come forth from parents who would be there to ensure a healthy and safe environment from which to grow and develop, with lots of tender loving care, nourished with family-positive values and traditions, proper discipline and guidance. Limited settings, restrictions and timeouts are necessary to keep the abundance of overflowing energy of a young person tamed, productive and meaningful.

Raising a child is not an easy job, for it requires plenty of attention, time, patience and positive role modeling early on, and sometimes throughout lifetimes. The result of the dedicated care a parent gives to raising a child is, however, rewarding, a blessing and a legacy to pass on.

Annie F.B.Unpingco, LCSW, is administrator of I Famagu'on-ta, Child Adolescent Services Division at the Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse.

Governor's Proclamation Signing 2013 - www.icareguam.com

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